Filed under: What makes me upset ):
I really hope to get to know you all better. To be able to share all these things in my heart and life to you all. And I really hope you all can get to know me too.
It’s so difficult opening up to people especially I am so self-conscious. But really hope.
How long had it been since I had a true and good fellowship with anyone?
Sigh. (again)
Filed under: What makes me upset ):
Jeremiah 29:1–7
A Letter to the Exiles
Jeremiah wrote a letter from Jerusalem to the elders, priests, prophets, and all the people who had been exiled to Babylon by King Nebuchadnezzar. 2 This was after King Jehoiachin,* the queen mother, the court officials, the other officials of Judah, and all the craftsmen and artisans had been deported from Jerusalem. 3 He sent the letter with Elasah son of Shaphan and Gemariah son of Hilkiah when they went to Babylon as King Zedekiah’s ambassadors to Nebuchadnezzar. This is what Jeremiah’s letter said:
4 This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says to all the captives he has exiled to Babylon from Jerusalem: 5 “Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce. 6 Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! 7 And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.”
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Recently had been struggling alot about my workplace. Am really half hearted because on one hand, i love my children, but on the other hand, i can’t wait to leave this place. And it is really draining to be working hard for something that you are half hearted about. That kind of mental-draining makes me very tired even though I sleep 8 hours every night. On top of this, am struggling with a new lifestyle, with loneliness, with some self-esteem issues, and relational issues. Sometimes just feel so tired fighting this battle. Still putting up a strong front, but sometimes everything inside me crumbles. Feel like i’m being sucked until dry dry. You know this feeling?
Maybe today’s odj gave me a little bit of direction about what I should do now.
I just hope this transition period will be over soon. I want to settle down. Really. :/
Filed under: What makes me upset ):
Idk why when I hear your voice, all the tears I tried so hard to keep inside the past few days just burst out ):
Filed under: What makes me upset ):
Hello world, I’m blogging from my phone now ((: first time! Long time no blog, and there are many things going on in my life the past few weeks.
1. Got an iPhone! Like super excited because finally can play all those games and stuffs. But in the end i didn’t play much on my phone… It’s the internet surfing that is super useful for me. (:
2. Sean got enlisted to ns a few days ago. I used to mock at girlfriends who count down to the book out dates and post all those things on facebook but now it’s my turn lor ): karma. so sad. It’s like a big part of my life suddenly go missing. Used to spend almost everyday with him for the past two years, now like suddenly gone abit bu Xi guan ): but I guess it’s a very good learning opportunity for the both of us. To learn to be independent, mature, and understanding.
But then again, there is this feeling of emptiness within me when I am alone and have nothing to do, no where to go. Like now ): Thats why im blogging. Tend to blog when there’s no one out there listening to me ): and I guess it just reflects on how I had been living my life – so dependent on Sean and neglecting my friends ): and how small a role had god been playing in my life.
It’s okay still, that’s why this period is a good time for me to catch up on whatever I’m lacking behind.
3. Being super half hearted at work ): it’s like I really love this job and I love my kids… But somehow I am just not convinced that whatever I am doing are benefitting the kids and I won’t be learning much in the next few years. Sent my resume to arc alr but still no reply ): really feel so stuck here, can’t go forward, and no heart to stay ): now just waiting (quite impatiently) for god to show me the next step. It’s difficult waiting.
Sigh. Dont feel like smiling much recently. So bogged down by everything ):
