tongxinxin

Hello! 

Attended Jy’s wedding today and met up with the poly mates. It had been such a long time since I last saw some of them and I feel like time had really flew past. Some people got married, some got into a relationship. 

And today reminded me of how I am not a confident person and how I find it hard to be myself around some people. These years I met people whom I can really clique with and open up to, and I realize that actually its not just a confidence problem entirely afterall. Some people and some people can just clique better than others :D this made me feel especially thankful of the people that I had met in the recent years: hui wen, See Ning, Suree, hui min… and also my bestie Sean (: 

Then the conversation went on and they talked about their relationship. And I find that our values and what we see in people are very different. And I used to be surrounded by people with such standards (and probably now too) so it was hard accepting Sean as he is. I like him alot and I like being around him, but I cared too much about what others think of him. I’m so worried that people think he is not good looking, or he is not sociable, or he doesn’t know how to please people, or he is not a great leader, or he is not that “holy”. He is just not the kind of guy described in those relationship christian books . And perhaps he is never going to be. 

Then it made me doubt myself and my choice of guy. (Not like I put in alot of thought into the kind of guy I should date or should I date him or not hahaha).

Now 6 years later after I agreed to be this guy’s girlfriend, I think I know why we are together and how we complemented each other these few years.  

I was passive and he always take the initiative. Esp getting to know me talking to me at the beginning of our friendship. Without being too overly pushy. And I felt comfortable with him. He was my best friend before my boyfriend. He never give up on me no matter how nasty our quarrels get. He accepted me for who I am, all my flaws and insecurities and he tries to accomodate to me. He is always so chill when I am hot headed and impulsive. He is one of the kindest person I know. He is responsible and does his best in his work. 

Of course he is not perfect and has his irritating moments. But I like how I can always just shoot him and talk about things and resolve issues. And how he is always humble to listen and change when I point out a mistake he make. And how its not difficult at all to talk about each others problems and struggles. And how we can always pray together. And he is just so down-to-earth, like someone I can reach and touch and connect with.

And our relationship is also not perfect. We also struggle with selfishness, or being too exclusive, or not putting god as first and the list goes on. But at least this is a relationship where we can always work things out.

This guy is my bestie and I think I love him more than I think I do (: I shouldn’t care too much about what others think because afterall they don’t know him as much as I do. And time will prove things cos true love is long lasting. 

:D

Hello world!

I am re-visiting this blog again cos I’m doing my teaching portfolio on wordpress. 

It’s amazing to see how I struggled at this workplace as a complete noobie teacher. It’s not easy. And I would never dream of being anything more than a teacher (because being an excellent teacher was a goal so far away, at that time). But now, I aspire to do more for these children with special needs. And I am striving hard to achieve that dream. And I know that God can use me to touch many lives of children with special needs and their family members. I really hope God will use me. 

Anywayz. Today my kid commented “I like you teacher tong xin, I like your face, I like your body, I like this new school.” Out of the blue, randomly. 

Hahaha and now you know what keeps me going. 

I think kids are the only people who wont mind me having pimples all over my face and fats wrapping my whole body. I think she appreciates me more than myself ^^